"Oh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Oh, Heaven is a place on Earth
They say in Heaven, Love comes first
We'll make Heaven a place on Earth
Oh, Heaven is a place on Earth"
after a week filled with deep emotional processing, this morning i pulled "LEMURIA - creating heaven on earth. it's happening."
i don't know about you, but many days feel so heavy this feels like the farthest thing from Truth. look around... destruction, disease, death, feel like they are at the door.
in these last few weeks, all the things are bubbling up from the deep. shadows, fears, secrets...knocking at that door, wanting to be invited in. are we going to invite them in for a cup of tea & a chat?
tonight, mercury retrograde makes its second of three conjunctions to pluto, ruler of the underworld. mercury being, our mind, the way we think, rationalize, communicate. pluto being, our evolutionary intention, linked with our unconscious soul level desires to evolve, & ultimately to merge back with Source.
mercury is known as the psychopomp; able to dive into the depths of the underworld, see it for what it truly is, and come back up with information & clarity. this conjunction is inviting us into our underworld, the dark, the shadow.
this week, in a moment with my own shadow, i had immense new awareness wash over me around the ways i constantly push her away, push her down, ask her to wait for a better time. if you are on my email list, this week i shared this quote, but i feel it bares repeating for this sacred time.
"all the 'not readies,' all the 'i need time,' are understandable, but only for a short while. the truth is that there is never a 'completely ready,' there is never a really 'right time.'
as with any descent into the unconscious, there comes a time when one simply hopes for the best, pinches one's nose, and jumps into the abyss. if this were not so, we would not have needed to create the words heroine, hero, or courage." -Clarissa Pinkola Estès Women Who Run with the Wolves
choosing to make the descent IS terrifying. if we feel afraid, there is nothing wrong. under the fear is a piece wanting to keep us safe. we can show that piece immense gratitude for the ways it has kept us safe. in my experience this week, i realized all this shadow wanted was to be held, and given time, utter spaciousness. she didn't want to rush. she didn't want to have to even think about the fact that there was anything else to do. she needed ME just to be.
our shadows are the pieces of us we are the most ashamed about. the pieces we'd rather pretend don't exist at all. and yet, at this time in history, we are at a point where we can no longer deny these parts of us. it is time to bring them into Love. it is time to come Home.
"but i don't have time to just sit with my shadow and hold her/him! i have work to do!" this is what my parts were screaming at me this week. "there are people out there who need my help!"
hmmm...
then, "oh fine, i can quickly do this emotional processing and then i can use it to help heal everyone else!"
hmm...
and then Grace dropped this piece in, "the outside is YOU."
it is a mirror. as i take all the time i need to find the wholeness that has always been inside me, i am simultaneously bringing that vibration, that medicine to planet earth. from this place, the pressure to fix anyone or anything outside myself dissolves. all i need to focus on is ME, my wholeness, my healing, & leave the rest to Life. the missionary mindset that is so imbedded in the DNA of our culture likes to convince us that we need to go out and save everyone, that it is up to us! that is a whole lot of pressure for no reason. with the pressure off, how much more spaciousness is there? Life can flow, it's not restricted. i am not saying we just drop everything and lock ourselves away with our shadow forever! i am inviting us to consider the balance, even here. i am inviting us into spaciousness around this. what does spaciousness with the shadow look like for you?
tomorrow, january 29th, venus stations direct after her weeks of being retrograde and will be in a trine to uranus. i am sensing a lift in the energy around this after some heaviness this week. the trine to uranus feels to me like an opportunity to welcome the Truth. venus is here saying YES to change. as we dive into our shadows, we welcome Truth to be there shining light, steeping us in Love, & join venus in her YES.
then on sunday the sun, the light of consciousness, squares uranus, the revolutionary, the change agent. this may feel chaotic, but also revealing things that need to be brought into the light. one of my teachers likes to say in regards to uranus, "choose change before change chooses you." feeling into this, we don't need to be afraid, i feel this as an invitation to really step into the role of the observer & watch ourselves, watch our reactions to situations, simply taking note. "as without, so within." what we are seeing and experiencing outside of us, is only a mirror to our internal state. none of us are alone in this. we are truly doing this together.
"Oh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Oh, Heaven is a place on Earth
They say in Heaven, Love comes first
We'll make Heaven a place on Earth
Oh, Heaven is a place on Earth"
TRUST. stay curious. we are creating heaven on earth, even now.
"Another World is not only possible, She is on Her way. On a quiet day, I can hear Her breathing." -Arundhati Roy